Independent or Dependent????

Okay. I am mad. Very mad. Let me just tell you why.

When I decided to go to Salem College to pursue a MAT in Elementary Education my parents said I would be financially cut off. The only things my parents pay for me now are my car insurance, my cell phone, my gym membership, and my health insurance ( which I will soon lose anyway).

You must know in order to understand- My MAT program is seperated into 2 phases. Phase 1 is initial license. You can stop and go teach but will not have gotten your Masters and therefore no pay raises. Phase 2 is Master work. It takes about 12 more hours but the benefits are worth it. As of right now I am still in Phase 1.

So in order to pay for my master coursework I am having to apply for finanical aid. The first thing you do when you apply for financial aid is to decide if you are independent or dependent. There are three questions that make this decision. One- you have to be 24 in order to be independent. Two- you have to be married in order to be independent. Three- you have to be enrolled in graduate level course. Well one and two I have to say no to, but three I said yes to, which therefore makes me independent. Because I am independent I get around 10,000 dollars from the federal government to pay for my fall, jan. term, spring, and summer classes this year. With that money I figured I could take 8 classes between the fall to next summer and I would also have 3000 dollars left over for living expenses. Taking this many courses would allow me to student teach next fall and then finish my last three classes in the spring and graduate with my license and my masters. And then I could move on with my life.

Well yesterday I got a letter in the mail from Salem saying that my financial aid information was wrong and that I am dependent ( which means that the govt. thinks I still rely on my parents for money) because the course work I am doing is considered undergraduate work. The federal government considers Phase 1 undergraduate work and Phase 2 pure masters work (even though in Phase 1 my classes are considered masters level and my workload is more than the undergraduates in my class).

Well after a long talk with financial aid I will only be receiving at the maximum amount 7500 for fall, jan, spring and summer terms. Well if I decide to take all the classes that I have mapped out I will only have 500 dollars left over for living expenses. Pretty much I am screwed. Also because I am dependent on my parents, according to the federal govt., my parents will have to show their income levels and tax returns. My parents are well off according to these forms, so there is a large possibility that the government will not give me all 7500 because my parents should be able to help out with the remainder.

As of right now I am working two jobs in order to pay for rent, food, utilities, everything pretty much. I want to be able to visit my friends and have a good night out every once and a while but that will not be a possibility if I only get 500 dollars. Sure I could ask my parents for money but the whole point of my situation I put myself in is that I am independent of them. I will not ask for money.

So instead of taking 8 classes, I am only going to take 5 classes which will push back my student teaching to next May and thus put me almost a year behind. My whole thing was to get this over with but it is not working out how I want it to :(

Jeepers vs. Pacifica (aka Soccer Mom mobile)

Well it seems as though Jeepers really knows how to throw a good kink into my life. When I was driving to my apartment yesterday to change for the pool my engined overheated. Long story short my parents are forking out 600 dollars to pay for a new radiator and thermostat.. This has been the pattern this year- first it needed new tires, then a battery and multifunction switch, dont forget about the horrendous clutch situation in Clemson, and now this. All this totaled up my parents have paid around 5000 dollars on this year alone. 

So my parents threw me out this option- I can either A- Keep having the Jeep knowing that eventually something new will happen and thus depending on where I am in life pay for it or them.. and then hopefully when I get a good job ( in probably 2-3 years) get a new car but this one will be worth a whole lot less.... 

Or option B-  Give Jeepers back to my dad and take his Pacific ( aka soccer mom mobile)... Its a 2007 car and has barely any wear and tear ( minus of course the time my dad decided that he would reverse into the mailbox).. The benefits of this would be my parents would trade my car in or Michael's and get my dad the car he really wants.. And this car will last me a long time, has good gas mileage and overall in much better condition than Jeepers

Sadly I am leaning towards Option B because the inflow of money is lacking and therefore I will be needing a car that goes the distance. I am spending the night at my parents house because they are going out of town early in the morning, so everything will be finalized then....

just to put everything into persceptive here are the options:

Which one would you choose???

i get by with a little help from my friends.

Two of the best people in the world visited me on Saturday, Katie and Kelly! Their birthdays are both in July so they wanted to spend a day with me in Winston, which was so nice. We had a great time just sitting around and talking. We were able to catch up on all our lives and it was so amazing to know that they are just as good friends to me as they were before we left. Lately I have been in the dumps because I am starting this new phase of my life all by myself. It was reassuring that they were still wanting to talk me through things and help me during this process. I really hope to see them soon and a lot during football season. I need that sense of sanity in my life, when I feel like my world is spending around and around all by myself.

Being down in the dumps suck, hard core. I have been crying and getting upset for no apparent reason. Not knowing the future of my life scares the crap out of me, especially since before this new chapter in my life I knew everything that was going to happen. I think when everyone returns in Clemson I am going to loss it, because I will be one of the few that will not be going back.

I hate being a Debbie Downer so I am just going to stop before I get to caught into this state of mind. By the way- Rob Thomas' new album is amazing. Love it and buy it!

Seriously... pink eye round 2!

I have freaking pink eye again!!! This is driving me insane. It is not as bad as the first time but it is still a pest. I mean it would be fine if I didnt have to wear high presciption contacts that are not cheap. There goes another pair down the drain. Boo.

Margaret Anne turns TWENTY ONE tomorrow. Holy cow. I cannot wait for her to open my present, should get a good giggle out of her.

My life is boring... maybe more next time????

Fourth of July Shenanigans!

I started my Fourth of July weekend off amazingly!! I got my haircut at Aveda and then headed to Charlotte for lunch with my favorites! It was soooo good to see Kelly and Jess, the best part was that it was like we did not even skip a beat. From hearing about Kelly's life as an intern to Jess' family pets I could not ask for more. My goal in life is to always stay in touch with people that exude happiness and honesty. These two carry these qualities and so much more :) I cannot wait for our next visit, which I am going to need very soon. They keep me sane and also keep me in check, which I need only a daily basis. It is hard to believe that I cannot walk into Kelly's room and lay on her comfy bed or call Jess and tell her to meet me at Moes.. My favorite comment of the day was " we have to start weeding out the friends, and keeping only the good ones". These two will definitely not be weeded out of my life forever. 

After my two hour lunch stop I got back on the road and headed to Summerville. Overall this trip was wonderful and something I desperately needed. I have never once questioned my relationship with Brad but it is so reassuring that I am still that happy girl he makes me be even though we are going four weeks without seeing each other. Throughout the weekend we went to see Transformers II, went downtown Charleston, grilled out with the family and friends, and then vedged today before I left. Brad is the one person that can make me smile constantly, I can confide to about anything, and dork around with all day. I never thought leaving him was hard but when I drove back to Winston tonight I could not stop crying. I think it finally hit me, and it hit me hard, that we are really really long distance. I am used to the summer distance but I have come to realize that this is our life until we decide to make the next step ( and by we I mean him). It is hard to go from a weekend of pure happiness to back to reality of work and school. 

On a side note everyone must read Nicholas Sparks' book The Choice. Absolutely amazing and one that I could not put down.

Bragging once again!!!

So I stayed up till midnight because that is when grades get posted and.... in my first grad school class..... i got an A!!!!!

Okay off to bed :) love you all!!! Cannot wait to see three of my favorites this weekend :)